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Truth or Fiction
October 16, 2003

[An edited version of this essay appears on Popmatters.com on December 1, 2003]

We’ve elected the Terminator. He’s returned from the future again, this time to save California, which should be relatively easy for him compared to the last three times, when he saved the future of humanity.

The recall election is just the latest and perhaps most tragically hilarious example of the ever-blurry line between truth and fiction. It’s not surprising, really. I mean, California is home to Hollywood, which has always been pretty surreal. And critics and philosophers have been arguing truth’s mutability for eons, but it’s only recently that pop culture has really dared to wear its artifice on its sleeve.

My favorite movie so far this year, American Splendor, is a story of art imitating life, but it also manages to blur the line between representation and reality by presenting three interchangeable versions of cartoon author Harvey Pekar: an actor, a cartoon character, and the real, present-day Pekar. Bowling for Columbine has transformed the way we look at documentaries, which have always had a love-hate relationship with the truth. They’ve now emerged from the obscurity of festivals and PBS to become mainstream theatrical attractions. Even School of Rock (the latest rehash of the ever-popular To Sir With Love), slips us a little self-consciousness with the closing credits, as Jack Black and his pre-teen rock band croon, “The movie’s almost over, but we’re still on screen.”

But the most spectacular example of pop culture’s increasing fascination with itself is Millennium Actress, the latest anime offering from director Satoshi Kon (Perfect Blue). The memoir of Chiyoko Fujiwara, a fictional Japanese movie star, the film traces the aging actress’s story as told to a documentary filmmaker and his cameraman. Her narration quickly gives way to flashbacks, which in turn become inextricably intertwined with her movie roles; memory fuses with fiction and history, and both are subordinated to Chiyoko’s overwhelming drive to fulfill a girlhood desire.

In the first flashback, set in WWII Japan, we see a pre-teen Chiyoko help a mysterious artist to escape from the police by hiding him in her family’s storage shed. He sneaks away one night, leaving behind a mysterious key that he has told her is “the key to the most important thing in the world.” From that moment on, Chiyoko has found her life’s pursuit: to return the key to its rightful owner, a man with whom, in the swoon of adolescence, she is convinced she is in love. Narrating a luminous career encompassing roles in everything from Shogun-era historical epics to futuristic space adventures, she manages to bend the storyline of each movie to her single, relentless quest to return the key and be reunited with her beloved. The costumes, scenery and supporting characters change endlessly around her, but the drama is ever the same.

Simultaneously a personal memoir, a snapshot history of Japan over the past century and a continuous narrative structured around a single formative event, Chiyoko’s story is further complicated by the increasing involvement of the filmmaker and cameraman. Appearing initially as bystanders (akin to Mr. Scrooge’s ghostly visits to Christmas past), they eventually become part of the story, even becoming characters in Chiyoko’s films. In effect, they construct the story with her, reminding us that film is a form of shared experience, a kind of communal memory.

Millennium Actress is smart and complex and beautifully constructed. Unlike most of the anime films popular in the States, there are no giant robots, tentacle rape, or morphing mutant blobs; just a brilliant, joyous roller coaster meditation on how desire can shape not only the course of one’s life, but the process of recalling and understanding that life, and how our personal memories are thoroughly bound up with community and history.

Unfortunately, my friend (who had generously invited me to the free preview screening) did not enjoy the film as much as I did. He had expected it to be more historical and he found it implausible that Chiyoko had made the same film over and over again, just with different costumes and settings. Clearly he was looking for something else, a history lesson or something more closely resembling “reality.” I found his reading too literal, but upon further reflection, realized that his reaction was not so far from my own just a few weeks earlier when faced with a similar suspension of “truth.”

My personal essay class teacher had assigned a pair of readings. The first piece was a criticism of memoirist Vivian Gornick, who had admitted to “composing” parts of her memoir, Fierce Attachments. The second was Gornick’s response, in which she maintained that it was sometimes necessary to sacrifice absolute fidelity in order to communicate a greater, underlying truth. It bothered me that Gornick had played fast and loose with the details of time, place, personality and conversation. Shouldn’t a writer who claimed to be writing from personal experience remain faithful to the “truth,” even if it was only the truth as she happened to perceive it on any given day? To my surprise, not one of the other students in the class took issue with Gornick’s creative license. They all sided with her and with my teacher in asserting that it was perfectly ok to use composite characters, compress timelines and simply “make stuff up.” Oddly, I found myself on the other side with Jonathan Yardley of the Washington Post, who said, “There’s a word for that: fiction.”

I wasn’t sure why I was being so curmudgeonly. In graduate school, we tossed phrases like “social construction” and “subject formation” around like rag dolls. History is told by the winners; race, gender and sexuality are arbitrary markers along the continuum of human variation; and individuality is merely a by-product of language. But this time I was the dumb bunny, the thick-headed literalist in search of “truth” and “reality.” Despite my excellent education to the contrary, it bothered me that someone could write a personal essay about something that wasn’t entirely true. It was ok to misremember, to have forgotten a detail – such is the purview of the “personal” – but to knowingly collapse time, or make up a conversation? It just didn’t seem right.

Like Chiyoko’s key, I suspected that the source of my intransigence began somewhere back in the misty recesses of childhood. In those days, I had no problem with fiction: fiction was my best friend. I knew entire passages of Black Beauty by heart, and was so taken with a book called Little Mouse on the Prairie that I turned it into a recurring game involving elaborate reconfiguration of pillows from our sectional. In contrast, my dad was and is strictly a non-fiction kind of guy. I always associated his reading list, full of business strategy and biography, with dry, adult reality. Fiction and make-believe were the luxuries of childhood. Maturity seemed paved with books by Lee Iacocca.

So it seems perilous that lately I’ve been feeling rather grown up. I’d rather listen to NPR than the hyperactive dramas played out in popular music. I would watch the Food Network twenty-four hours a day if I didn’t have to make a living, and I haven’t read a work of fiction in over a year. I’m beginning to understand my father’s fascination with “reality.” As I get older, I’m confronted with an ever increasing number of things over which I have no control (I can’t think of a better definition of reality.). Non-fiction, documentary and even the news are more interesting because they’re all stories of how other people deal with things over which they have no control. In other words, coping with the reality of adulthood requires considerably more effort than rearranging a few sofa cushions.

Of course reality looks a little different these days. There’s nothing but “reality” on television, all of it set-up, groomed and edited for maximum shock value. Everyone knows it’s fake, but therein lies its appeal. The thing about reality TV is that unlike traditional documentaries, it never fails to expose the seam between truth and fiction. It reveals the workings beneath the surface, not just by going “behind the scenes” (candid interviews with participants, infrared “private” moments), but in transplanting “reality” into the well-ordered universe of a game show. Reality TV shows are not only biased by selective shooting and editing the way traditional documentaries are, but by elaborate rules and regulations, clearly stated and repeated ad nauseum for the edification of the viewing audience.

So Reality TV is sort of real and somewhat fake. Despite the moniker, we know we are watching a performance, and the performers know we are watching them. Similarly, movies and books that draw attention to the fact that they are “made up” make us aware of how we construct the narratives of our own lives. A story like Millenium Actress (however fictional) asserts that the power to understand our destiny and to share it (and hopefully shape it) with others lies within our own memories and imaginations. It’s all about how you spin it, after all. The very real fact that the Terminator is now my governor makes me want to cry, but on the other hand, it also makes me strangely proud to live in California, a state of hyper-reality where truth and fiction are now completely fused.

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